


Sandcastles

by DrChickenSlinger



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, GaaLee, LeeGaa, M/M, but not all the way through, too much angst is bad for my soul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 02:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18174908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrChickenSlinger/pseuds/DrChickenSlinger
Summary: "We built sand castles that washed awayI made you cry when I walked away"





	Sandcastles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ManaBanana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManaBanana/gifts).



> Inspired by "Sandcastles" by Beyonce and for the lovely ManaBanana who suggested this song! Thank you so much for this and for being a lovely person! This is the second fic in my song inspired fics, I have a LOT so just buckle up kiddos. Let me know if you have any song suggestions (doesn't necessarily have to be directly related to Gaara/Lee) and I hope you enjoy this fic! <3

Gaara’s eyes burned holes into his desk, focusing on everything at once and nothing at all. They were bloodshot and stung as he stared at nothing, unblinking. He was numb for the first time in a long time, but the difference was this time he didn’t want to be. He wanted to feel the pain of the previous night, the remorse of what had happened. But he couldn’t. He felt nothing. He had felt nothing as Lee argued with him, packed a bag, and walked out of their home. He had numbly reached out an arm to stop him, his small fingers grabbing gently at the hem of his jumpsuit, but it wasn’t enough. Lee’s mind had been made. He continued to feel nothing as he walked up the stairs to their bed, laid down, and cried. He hadn’t meant to cry. He didn’t feel sad. But he had cried through the night as he lay on his back, right arm grasping at the sheets that were devoid of Lee.

As he stared at the paperwork in front of him, a knock sounded at the door. Barely registering it, he made no attempt to welcome the intruder in. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with them, unsure of what he did wrong for Lee and not wanting to see how he could mess up with someone else. After a few seconds with no answer, they let themselves in. Gaara continued to stare at his desk until a loud sigh shook him out of his torpid state. He slowly blinked, tired eyes stinging further as they found relief, and looked up There stood Lee, looking worse than Gaara did. Everything Gaara hadn’t felt since their fight came crashing down on him.

“I know I made you cry when I walked away,” he said softly, voice gently cracking from disuse. “I watched you cry. Why didn’t you stop me?”

Gaara swallowed, trying to keep his tears at bay. “Why would I stop you if you were unhappy?” he asked.

Lee sighed, shoulders falling slightly. “This is my point, Gaara. You never open up to me or think of your own feelings. I never know what you’re feeling or if you are even happy with me being here. It may be my own insecurity, but I worry that you just tolerate my presence more than anything. I am not the one who is unhappy. I worry that it is actually you.”

Gaara stood, stepping slightly toward Lee. He crossed his arms and bowed his head, unsure of how to proceed. He never processed his emotions well, always bottling them in order to not upset others. But this time it had the opposite effect, upsetting Lee instead of avoiding worry, and he didn’t know what to do.

“You said you wouldn’t stay any longer. Why are you still here?” Gaara replied, avoiding Lee’s accusation. His voice trembled and he tried to even it, to no avail. His mind was reeling from the shock of switching so quickly from apathy to remorse.

“I know that I said a lot of harsh things. And I regret them immensely. I just did not know what to do or how to get you to open up. I used my anger and for that I am deeply sorry,” Lee said, stepping to Gaara until they were only three feet apart. “But I can’t keep living like this. I need to know that you want me here. That you need me. Relationships have to be built on more than just attraction and excitement. What happens when the excitement dies down? I need to know that our relationship is built on something solid.”

“What are you asking for, Lee? You know I don’t process emotions well. What more can I do? I hug you. I kiss you. I hold your hand. What more do you want? What more can I give you?” Gaara pleaded, eyes boring into Lee’s.

“Can you not give me more?” Lee asked, eyebrows drawn down in frustration.

“Lee, I want to give you the world. And more. But I don’t know what exactly you are asking me. Please help me understand. I want to be everything for you. But you need to tell me how.”

“Show me your scars, Gaara. Show me your scars and I won’t walk away,” Lee said, placing a gentle hand on his arm, eyes tearing up.

Gaara looked at him, tired and confused. “Lee, you’ve seen my scars. I only have two, one placed on me from when we fought. I’m not hiding anything else.”

Lee smiled gently and shook his head, hair swishing gently. Gaara wanted to run his fingers through that hair, worried he would never get the chance to again.

“Forgive me, Gaara. Perhaps this is partly my fault, too. By scars, I mean your past. Your hurt. I need to be able to help you. I need you to want to open up to me. A relationship is built on mutual trust. I trust you with my life, Gaara, but I worry that you are unable to trust me with your heart.”

Only then did Gaara allow himself to cry. A sob wracked his body as he allowed himself to show twenty two years of pain and agony he had hidden from Lee. He couldn’t contain it or hide it from him any longer. And it surprised Gaara that Lee didn’t want him to.

“You said you were leaving. You promised to never come back,” Gaara said, between sobs. “I didn’t know what to do. I don’t want to live without you, but I don’t want you to be forced to stay somewhere you aren’t happy.”

Lee gently pulled Gaara into him, tears streaming down his face. Gaara’s hands gripped and twisted Lee’s shirt, pulling him as closely as he could while Lee’s arms wrapped around his back. They cried together for a few minutes, tears mingling onto each others faces and into Lee’s shirt.

“I’m sorry I’m so broken,” Gaara whispered, barely audible, he being worried to even utter the words.

“I do not mind that you are broken. I am, too. I only worry that you will not allow me to help heal some of those broken parts.” He pulled back gently, brushing Gaara’s damp hair away from his face as he stared at the kanji on his forehead. Love. “I know I cannot fix everything. But I need to know that you will at least allow me to be there for you while you fix it yourself.”

Gaara drew in a shaky breath and stood on his toes as he wrapped his arms around Lee’s neck. Lee cupped the back of Gaara’s head, pulling him up slightly to hold him. 

“I promise I will try harder to let you in,” Gaara whispered, burying his face into Lee’s neck. “But please be patient with me. After being told I was a monster and a burden my entire life, there are self-protecting habits that are hard to get rid of.”

Lee squeezed Gaara tighter, trying to repair the heartbreak he had given him. Lee had always made Gaara feel so much, both good and bad. But Gaara preferred that, knowing that a numb and pain free life kept the happy moments in the shadows, falling subject to a familiarity devoid of anything else. Even joy without pain is nothing.

“I know you will do your best, Gaara. You are never a burden to me, in fact the burdens of life are lifted when I am with you. I need to be able to lift your burdens as well.” Lee pulled back slightly, wiping away Gaara’s tears. 

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” he asked gently.

Gaara nodded lightly, staring at Lee’s lips. Gaara’s troubled mind calmed as he kissed Lee, previous thoughts of never being able to kiss him again disappearing from his mind. “Please don’t leave,” he murmured, insecurities and anxieties still tightly gripping his heart. Lee looked down at him, mouth set in a firm line.

“I won’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> You know I gotta throw this out, ManaBanana (who suggested this song) is an AMAZING writer!! Please check out their fics, they give me life!
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManaBanana
> 
> Also the song is absolutely beautiful, thank you Beyonce:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD38JT8rypY


End file.
